By Tyrashelvy Villamil
How often are we told to “tone it down”?
There is a silent war that seems to never cease—a society that shoots down unconventional authenticity on sight. There is a mold, however, to let you live in peace without the piercing eyes of the hypercritical public. But not everyone can fit into that mold.
In a country like the Philippines where conservative people still like to impose their views on others, a kind of vitriol oftentimes slam into individuals who like to express themselves in a different way. We have aunties who were likely the favorite pulutan for family chismis, neighbors and their kids whose names were often heard in tindahans, and—you could be one of these—the gay or eccentric kids who were made fun of by children and adults alike.
Authenticity isn’t usually the problem with self-acceptance. It’s only a problem if the way you present yourself doesn’t align with the majority’s standards, making it harder for us to accept ourselves too. When you don’t follow into the kinds of lives people expect of you, you are automatically seen as a fool. When you stick out like a sore thumb in functions, expect your name to be mentioned with disdain. When you unapologetically live your life loud, there will be people silently wishing for your downfall.
There are 8.2 billion people in the world and more than 115 million people in the Philippines today. A real fool thinks that they can please this many people—a real fool lives their lives for everyone but themselves.
Many people are afraid to show up as they are, fearing the judgement of strangers. But at the end of the day, judgement is all they can give. When the sun sets, the fools win for their shoulders are lighter, as they have shed the weight that prevents their truest selves from soaring.
So go and pursue that arts career. Wear that red lipstick. Paint butterflies on your eyes. And never succumb to the weight of the judgeful eyes that society never lets rest.
